It's All Capitalism, It's All Awful (or, I Lost / I Gained: A Pandemic Balance Sheet) is a project of the Feminist Media Studio that documents what has been lost and gained during the last two years of the pandemic. These receipts are a balance sheet for times of unbalance, a record of the affects of the pandemic, the costs of quarantining, illness and death, overwork, and border closures, and the dreams of more just futures. Each receipt helps to create an anchor and archive of the feminist everyday.


It's All Capitalism, It's All Awful

VIEW: AllI GainedI Lost ORDER: NewestOldestRandom

I Gained: 
perspective

************************

all the loss has given me a new perspective on what really matters to me, and what doesn’t. i have become far more deliberate in how i use my time.

RECEIPT#: 0000189

pipwe

Tue 06/09/2022 02:29:09

20220906022909

I Gained: 
a running injury

************************

and now what am I going to do to process all this?

RECEIPT#: 0000185

Krista

Tue 26/04/2022 12:51:49

20220426125149

I Gained: 
even more anxiety

************************

the shivers sent up my spine every time I hear a cough >>>>

RECEIPT#: 0000183

anonymous

Mon 25/04/2022 02:06:55

20220425020655

I Gained: 
moving for fun

************************

No more commuting = more time to move where I want, whenever I want, however I want.

RECEIPT#: 0000181

Caitlin

Mon 25/04/2022 02:02:59

20220425020259

I Gained: 
new passions

************************

and they bring so much joy into my life

RECEIPT#: 0000166

Ana

Thu 07/04/2022 12:27:58

20220407122758

I Gained: 
connection

************************

both with myself and others. Social distancing meant fickle relationships faded away, but in that space I wove a web of love around myself instead.

RECEIPT#: 0000164

Ana

Thu 07/04/2022 12:27:24

20220407122724

I Gained: 
a large collection of ceramics

************************

Bored, we’ve been scouring Marketplace. So far we’ve got a uranium glass juicer, a porcelain telephone, a pitcher and glass set in the shape of pineapples, 14 milk glass vases and a salad bowl that we will mourn when it inevitably gets smashed.

RECEIPT#: 0000160

Emily

Tue 05/04/2022 05:26:45

20220405052645

I Gained: 
new appreciation

************************

It feels a lot harder to take anything for granted now. If nothing else, I appreciate the little things more than I used to.

RECEIPT#: 0000153

Piper

Mon 21/03/2022 01:06:32

20220321010632

I Gained: 
overturned intimacies

************************

what is far can be close, what is close can be far.

RECEIPT#: 0000148

Krista

Tue 15/03/2022 07:28:00

20220315072800

I Gained: 
a new frankness

************************

no time or space for minced words

RECEIPT#: 0000144

Krista

Tue 15/03/2022 07:22:26

20220315072226

I Gained: 
political constellations

************************

new alliances, new antagonisms, across uneven and unexpected lines.

RECEIPT#: 0000140

ian

Mon 14/03/2022 03:18:47

20220314031847

I Gained: 
a child’s eye

************************

To see the world again anew, terrifyingly, wondrously.

RECEIPT#: 0000134

anonymous

Sun 13/03/2022 09:31:46

20220313093146

I Gained: 
Epidemiological consciousness

************************

7-day averages
Bar curves
Heat maps
Aerosol patterns
Transmission schemas

RECEIPT#: 0000131

Krista

Fri 11/03/2022 12:52:12

20220311125212

I Lost: 
Track of Time

************************

When the pandemic hit, I maintained jobs from home. With the loss of the commute meant the loss of a regular “schedule”. I can do anything at anytime, and boy have I been making the most of that.

RECEIPT#: 0000177

anonymous

Mon 25/04/2022 02:00:47

20220425020047

I Lost: 
Track of Time

************************

When the pandemic hit, I maintained jobs from home. With the loss of the commute meant the loss of a regular “schedule”. I can do anything at anytime, and boy have I been making the most of that.

RECEIPT#: 0000179

anonymous

Mon 25/04/2022 02:00:47

20220425020047

I Lost: 
Track of Time

************************

When the pandemic hit, I maintained jobs from home. With the loss of the commute meant the loss of a regular “schedule”. I can do anything at anytime, and boy have I been making the most of that.

RECEIPT#: 0000175

anonymous

Mon 25/04/2022 02:00:46

20220425020046

I Lost: 
Track of Time

************************

When the pandemic hit, I maintained jobs from home. With the loss of the commute meant the loss of a regular “schedule”. I can do anything at anytime, and boy have I been making the most of that.

RECEIPT#: 0000173

anonymous

Mon 25/04/2022 02:00:45

20220425020045

I Lost: 
Track of Time

************************

When the pandemic hit, I maintained jobs from home. With the loss of the commute meant the loss of a regular “schedule”. I can do anything at anytime, and boy have I been making the most of that.

RECEIPT#: 0000171

anonymous

Mon 25/04/2022 02:00:44

20220425020044

I Lost: 
Track of Time

************************

When the pandemic hit, I maintained jobs from home. With the loss of the commute meant the loss of a regular “schedule”. I can do anything at anytime, and boy have I been making the most of that.

RECEIPT#: 0000169

anonymous

Mon 25/04/2022 02:00:43

20220425020043

I Lost: 
the innocence of youth

************************

Suddenly I find myself in my mid-20s, unable to just let life happen to me as I once did. I have to be careful with the decisions I make.

RECEIPT#: 0000162

Ana

Thu 07/04/2022 12:22:35

20220407122235

I Lost: 
my grandfather

************************

Manitoba slashed its healthcare funding in 2019. We’ll never know for sure how much that sped the cancer’s effects, but by the time a bed was ready for him it was too late.

RECEIPT#: 0000158

Emily

Tue 05/04/2022 05:20:58

20220405052058

I Lost: 
count

************************

of how many times I thought “when this is over…”

RECEIPT#: 0000155

Krista

Tue 29/03/2022 12:05:26

20220329120526

I Lost: 
my mobility

************************

you feel like you’re stuck at home until you’re really stuck at home, nothing really compares

RECEIPT#: 0000151

Piper

Mon 21/03/2022 01:04:54

20220321010454

I Lost: 
the thread on UBI

************************

I mean what happened to that idea… it was here and then *poof* it was all ‘back to work’!

RECEIPT#: 0000146

Krista

Tue 15/03/2022 07:24:14

20220315072414

I Lost: 
hope

************************

This all doesn’t work, hasn’t worked, will not work for anyone (except for a few, we know who). Giving up hope in what exists feels like planting a seed for what continues to struggle to.

RECEIPT#: 0000142

ian

Mon 14/03/2022 03:27:30

20220314032730

I Lost: 
My Patience

************************

with the unmasked
and sloppily half-masked
and the willful loop hanging off one ear…

RECEIPT#: 0000129

Krista

Fri 11/03/2022 12:48:23

20220311124823